Strange

Well not to be morbid...but what is it about kids that make you (or at least me) think about your own mortality? I guess it's just the responsibility for all these little lives. I don't know, I mean I'm not a depressed person. I'm not stressed. I have seen and been hit with my share of heartache in the form of death. Most way too young, some who lived amazing long lives. But something about leaving my children with out their mother just causes this deep ache. "Will they remember me" "Will this screw up their lives forever" "Will people know that they like more peanut butter than jelly on their sandwiches?" "Does anyone know where the next size clothes are in the basement" Stupid questions. Sometimes I look through photos and see there are very few of me and the kids. I'm usually behind the camera. So I force the camera on my DH in hopes that there will be evidence that I was here. Not to be arrogant or selfish. But I just assume they need me!! My little monster hasn't been away from me for more than a few hours---in which i still felt tremendous guilt. My little man still is a big cuddle bug, and of course the princess...a girl needs her mom. No matter how much they butt heads!

I hate to scream at them, which of course does happen. Cause then I think, if something happens right now is that what my last words to them should have been? I know. Maybe I need some help?! But between Oprah and her horrible stories of people coming home from the mall and the family being killed in a crash and even the biggest loser and that woman's story of loss. How can you not be slapped in the face with that thought??? Just strange.

Moving right along!

Hello again.

Look at me go...two in a row! Sorry, I couldn't resist!

I was full of energy today--or full of pepsi max! Whatever it let me get a good amount accomplished anyway. I got the laundry AWAY which is big, I had all the Daisy GirlScout meeting stuff ready to roll out the door with me, dinner in the crock pot by noon, dishes done! Go me! Productive and yet not stressful day!

Now as long as this snow doesn't hit we'll be able to have our family xmas/new year party on Saturday and the hubby won't be all annoyed that it was cancelled. Schools up north are already closing the doors for tomorrow WTH??? With all the suv's and 4x4's out there why are there more snow days? Whatever. The town did a crappy job plowing THAT RIGHT I SAID IT TOWN!!! When I had to shovel 5 extra feet into the street to be able to reach open road that 's a problem. Oh and it's what a week, wait more, later and the street to the schools are still only one lane! Don't mind my 10k in taxes...I'm sure it's doing something else for the town right?!

Sorry, I digress...

So what am I going to do with all these new found toys and gizmo's?? Little Miss is at the age when all her new things are too small to be left around for the Monster that will eat them. I know get rid of some stuff. I agree, but easier said then done.

Till next time!

2011!

Well it's here...time to make some promises like the suits!

No really. I've been thinking about it, I am usually good for the ol'standby of Lose Weight, Be Happier....you know typical things.

This Year, hmmmm. I don't know. I mean last year was relatively quiet. Not in my house I mean. And well you would be able to tell if I didn't sneak off and write my life away somewhere else...which I deleted before I even thought to just stick the link here ( brain...work brain....work!!!!) But I mean, no births...., no deaths...., no tragic things. I'm very great full.

Last year I actually accomplished something for myself. Something I never thought I'd do, something I actually despised!!!!

I ran~ and ran alot~

I started in September with a class for Moms. The end goal was a 5mile run (it had a cause, not one I was overly interested in but hey...if I'm paying it might as well go to someone!). Before the class started but AFTER I paid up all's I could think of was WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? Really, you're not a runner. Nope. Never. Basketball-yup, Volleyball-hell yea, Softball-sure, RUN--NOPE! hahaah. So I trucked on. Trained during the week and gave it my all each and every weekend. BAM 5 Miles!! 52minutes. I was really just so proud of myself. I hopped on a few 5k's after that.

So this year, I'm just not sure what's in store! I'm on the get you're butt organized kick but we'll see. I'm not promising anything! As for a "resolution" I'd just like to relax and enjoy my babies while they're still enjoying me.

Happy New Year!