Tuesday, March 31, 2009

dreaded entry

Well it is the entry I most dread. Much like the day I was much dreading. I'll likely write more but I felt I needed to add something into March.
My Father passed away just a little past midnight on March 12th. We were all with him. Which was good because no one should die alone. But it is an image I will never get rid of. Ever. 
We had his wake and funeral. There were an abundance of people and it felt so good to know so many people love and were touched by him. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. He was so strong and such a tough guy and just loved everyone. And he went out in a hospital, drugged up so he could feel no pain, because he was promised by his dr that he would never suffer. 
My Mom, My Brother and Sister, My Grandma, My Aunt, My Godfather (his best friend) and his Wife were all there with him when he left this earth. A day I dreaded. A day I cried over before it even happened. A day I'll never forget. 
I can't write more now. I'm crying again and it's hard to see the screen.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Lost control

So I have no control of my day any longer.  The year started out well then it all went to the crapper. Lil Miss would go to school for 2.5 hours, the Gremlin would nap and I would mad clean! But no longer. Now I'm lucky if the dishes get done. Or maybe the floor is vacuumed. Only one thing a day lately. What happened??? I was doing so well. His naps have become harder to keep. I'm doomed if he out grows them. My motivation is gone. I've lost control!