Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2008 Reflection

Wow. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying "Where the hell did 2008 go?"
I can recall moments through out the year but I really can't account for the 366 days that went by this year. I hope I'm not questioned where I was on March 3rd, because I won't know!!
This year has been alot of ups and downs for us as a family. 
*January started with the death of my Great Grandmother. She was 99. I can't say people were devastated, but we still lost the matriarch of our family, not one person could remember a day without her here. 
*Then came the big horrible news that started out and has been an everyday reminder for us. My Dad was diagnosed with advanced terminal lung cancer. A death sentence. He has gone though radiation, chemo, biopsies, more radiation, more chemo, more scans tests and what have you. He lost his hair...then his mustache, then about 40lbs. It took forever to get information out of my Mom. She is a nurse in a drs office so she really sees the medical side of things and instead of being a wife or mother she plays medical assistant. It's very obnoxious, but I think its the way she deals. I still get little bits of information passed along in random conversations. "Wow I have a sink full of dishes, oh and your Fathers cat scan showed something on his hip" WHAT? What cat scan??? 
*The year moved along. Hubbys Grandfather turned 92. He's amazing. He has really become my Grandpa too. He loves the kids, he delivers meals on wheels to people who can't get around like he does and he always has plans!
*Hubby turned 35. He didn't seem to care, but I know he kind of stuttered when his birthday came around!
*My baby boy turned 1. Talk about a year that just...wow. He's so happy. Such a good baby. Goes to anyone, eats well. DOES NOT SLEEP. But I think I'll take that over a cranky kid all day long. He's damn cute too!
*We traveled to Disney as a family. That was both hectic and awesome. My Daughter can't wait to go back. She's saving her money in her piggybank  to go!
*My baby girl turned 4. Again....amazing. I can instantly bring myself back to holding her for the first time at a tiny 2lbs. Feeding her through her ng tube.  Folding over preemie diapers to fit her little body. I still marvel at her.
*My MIL has been in and out of the hospital. Much like every year. This time we got a good month of her feeling well enough to go out of the house. Shes back in the hospital right now. She needs a new line put in to allow her tpn to feed her. My FIL has really been amazing. He's cranky and out of a job, but he's certainly been taking care of her 24-7
*My Cousin has been going though some infertility issues. It's not her system that is the problem but his. I think she's really jumped to the kidless depression quite quick. Though I guess 33 makes it come along quicker. My Mom keeps telling me that I should talk to her to support her and tell her what I went though. But I selfishly can't help but think who will then support me when she gets pregnant with triplets!! Mostly cause thats my kind of luck! I do want to be there for her. She came down to sit with me when I was on bedrest. She even rubbed my legs! I guess I should make a day for us alone.
*Politics still suck. I'm worried what the next years will bring. Money is tight and I certainly haven't been saving like I should. Hubby could lose his job with no notice and then what? Or house was re-assessed and well if the taxes go up anymore this may not be our residence for long. 
*And of course personally, I still battle myself with what goes on in my body. It took 3 years of treatments to have a pregnancy that I could hold onto. I was very happy with myself once my Daughter came home, I gave it a year and then I lost alot of weight. It took 2 years of "what happens happens" to become pregnant with my Son. Of course a year later and the weight came off...but it came back on too. Though that might have to do with the little over a year and "what happens happened!" but I didn't know untill I was in the mists of a loss. Yet again. I don't talk much about it...I've almost gone numb with it. I'm ok now. Just hoping when I convince the hubby that maybe one more for the road that he'll agree...and so will my uncooperative body!
WELL.. 2008 all in all a long year that went by in a flash. The year to come has many milestone birthdays as well as anniversary's and potential life changing losses. I may just go over all that I expect in another utterly long post!

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