just step over it!

I often find myself freaking out over the amount of toys and kid crap around here. And yes I know, you say well you have kids. You're right. I know! I don't know if I wish for better organization of the toys or more storage that hides it...but I just can't seem to get rid of alot of it. And I know plenty of people that could come over here and just weed it all out for me. But I want my kids to have all the stuff they want to play. We're able to give them alot, not everything, but alot either by hand-me-downs or gifts or just on a whim. And my Mother-In-Law is notorious for commenting that we have a toy store in here, or that the kid just don't have any toys---sarcastically of course--.  But I'm sure my husband didn't grow up with a shoe string and a box to play with! And I had a playroom when growing up and we were by no means well off...or even close to it. 

So what's wrong with alot of toys? Nothing if you don't have to clean it I suppose! I'll just step over it until they out grow it all, cause by then I'll miss watching them play with it all and wish I had something to laugh about while I wonder how the doll house pieces got all the way under the real kitchen table!

Behind the Lens

So I have these frames that I seem to be collecting. I have recently been on a mission to fill and hang these around the house. I mean we've only lived here for 3+ years now. It would be nice to decorate right?!

So I have my Son in one frame, I have a great photo of my Daughter for the other and I thought to complete the collage of frames and photos I'd put a photo of my husband and I. OR NOT! I can't seem to find a photo of just us! I did find one of the four of us...and one or two of Hubby and I that my Daughter took, but they're a bit of an odd angle. So I search...back to 2004...nothing!!!!!! Ok I didn't check EVERY folder of photos...but most. And in my search of photos for the two of us...I found very very few of me! It's like I wasn't at Christmas or Thanksgiving or Birthday parties! It's like my Hubby is a single dad and this is a strange documentary of my families life?! So next event I'm handing off the camera. If the photos aren't up to what I want them to be too bad. At least it will be documented that I'm there!

All for one...

and one for all, right?

Well in my case nope! I have to laugh about it but it does really annoy me! I some how always get roped into something that is a ton of work for me and someone else benifits, with little or no thanks involved. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy and willing and able to help people out with whatever is with in my means... and I'm not looking for bilboards of thanks. Things just never seem to go my way! Maybe I'm too subtle or humble??? Hahaha I know this post negates the humble!

An example of what I mean. A friend of mine has a business. I stopped by the other day, and she mentioned that she needed to get some flyer's out. I being, or once being, in the business said "oh I can help you." She said that's awesome, I'll pay you to do it, I say great.  So I worked on some flyer's, nothing award winning, but I put just as much effort into that as I do anything. She says she needs to find a neon sign, I happen to know someone who does that so I recommend them....as soon as she speaks with him she calls me to tell me that he's great thanks for the contact and that he's going to do the flyer's too!!! WTF?? They're done, BY ME! She said then it won't be a bother to me!!! HELLO? I'M NOT BOTHERED IF I'M BEING PAID!!!!! I said fine, I'll pick up my design from your office. So annoying!! That's just the latest example. I guess I care too much? Sounds silly. I guess I'm angry that I worked on it and it's just getting wasted. 

Oh well. I know, lovely angry post after a few days!! 

They multiply like rabbits!

I have to laugh. I'm not talking about people or animals...but KITCHEN CRAP!! I was attempting to clean out my closet in the kitchen when I realized I have a small appliance store in my house!! I keep most big things in the box since they come with booklets and other pieces. But holy crap! Where did they come from? I think a good portion are from my wedding. And I'm finally starting to use them, but some I've never opened! Now you'd think I'd just give up and get rid of them! BUT NO!  I'm crazy. I know. I'm going to go break out the Smore Maker...smores anyone?

Is knowing worse?

Sometimes it takes the looming aura of death to really make you think about life. This year has really done that for me. My Father was diagnosed in January with Lung Cancer.  After the initial tears, of many and many later and many more to come, I really thought of how important family is to me. I thought of all the little things that he'll be missing. Walking my Sister down the isle, seeing my Brother graduate college, watching my babies grow up. 

I started to freak out actually. Trivial, Stupid things crossed my mind about my own mortality like "if i die today, hubby will never find the bag of kid clothes for winter in the basement." Then I'd cry. I started cleaning and organizing "just in case". I didn't want anyone to have to look or stress out cause I was a messy disaster.  I'm terrified my children will not have a mother. I guess it's deflecting? I'm not a therapist, I'm just pretending I know what my crazy reactions are!

The truth is, what is killing me about my Dad is that my Babies won't have him around. And as much as I like to think he's strong and stubborn and can fight this, it's terminal. This could just be his last thanksgiving, last christmas. He turns 60 in June. Will he make it? God I hope so. 

Is it worse to know what someone is going to miss, rather than them just missing it? 

I rock my Son to sleep everynight in his room, in the dark, and cry. Much like I am right now, so I guess this post is done. Just for the record, knowing IS worse.

It's not a 3 car garage!

Ok so we're lucky enough to have a 2 car garage. However, my van and my husbands truck take up a good portion of the room. My daughters cherry red mustang just doesn't fit!! I trip over it, whap my knee on it, have to climb over it to get the kids out of the car! Now I know what your thinking...'why does your 4 year old have a car?' Well it's one of those little two seat battery cars. It's adorable. I wish I had that actual car! But in the summer we drag it up from the basement and she gets to drive it around the driveway and side walk and when the boys next door break out their jeep it's like a small speedway!  We took out the screw that let it go top speed because the jeep was completely running  down the mustang (unheard of in real cars!) and now the mustang does circles around it! But it's time to put on the tarp and store it for winter! My knees need time to recover! And I'd like to walk through the garage for a bit without my mountain climbing gear!

an inspiration

Every so often something or someone comes along to remind you of something you wanted to do or be or just give a try. Today that happened. I went to a book party for a friend that illustrated a book. When I left all I could think about was "I would be able do that." And by no means is that a slap to her for actually doing it, it's not an easy task and she is very talented. 

I graduated college with a degree in Graphic Design. I minored in photography and sculpture. Of course you probably could never tell that by meeting me. Before we moved to our current house, an well before children, alot of my work was around the house. Framed photos, a painting, even some nude statues! When we moved, I didn't even unpack them. 

When I got home today and was looking at the book, I wanted to run upstairs and dust off the paint brushes, dig out the oils and just start SOMETHING! Of course, life interuptus--dinner was to be made, kids were to be tended and bedtime happened; and here I am at the computer again!

I forgot the passion I had for the arts. I do love it. I may not have purple hair or wear black or be your "typical" artist. But at heart I'm an artist. It's just been squished up in there by all the love I now have running around my house and technically I have created what is in photos in the frames on the wall!

The gig is up!

Well it seems I've been discovered! It's about time Missy! I've actually been curbing my details to keep a certain someone guessing. Maybe I'll redesign and post up some photos now. I originally was going to keep this very anonymous so I could be evil, but I guess the whole two people that know now can read it anyway, I really don't have anything evil to say about them :)

Cheers!

I dream of Genie vs Bewitched

With out coming off as a sci-fi or comic book nerd, I dare state this: If I were to have a super power I'd like to freeze time.

I said it would sound nerdy! I'm not saying for days. Just for a little extra time. Or to say stop the rotten pumpkin from falling out of the bag you just put it in to throw it away from falling on your new sneaker! But that's just an example.

How great would it be. You wouldn't need time travel like Genie where she's blink herself places, because  you could freeze time and not miss anything while getting there! I could freeze time to make dinner, and enjoy making it instead of shuffling the kids out of the kitchen most of the time! Of course on Bewitched it would just be a nose twitch. Well I guess that's still the winner. I'd certainly get a lot more sleep! And my children would grow up a lot slower than the are now, as would I!

but...wait...I...

I'm seriously on a rant today. I apologize those two who actually read this! 

Here's the thing. And let me re-state as I hate politics and really try to avoid the topic when I can. With the historic election last night it's really hard to completely avoid it. 

I don't like to pick a side (damn Libra's) I think a little here a little there is really "the greater good!" I'm not being wishy washy. If I had to choose I'd say I lean Republican. But even that annoys me. 

I feel I need to "voice" my opinion because a majority of my friends seem to jump all over my words with their opinions without even regarding mine! RUDE RUDE RUDE. Not everyone I know---girls neither of you! They don't even think about it. I'm just wrong. Or that's not even said, it's just disregarded! So here it is. HA You can't take that away!

*I'm pro-life but not anti-abortion. I feel the use of abortion as a birth control is wrong. I feel that the 'father' should have some say in it, even though it's the woman's body. I do, however, feel if it deems medically necessary to save the womans life, needs to be legal. Also in cases of insest and rape. Of course no one could possibly be truthful and sadly suddenly there would be a sudden rise in the reports of both just to get things done.

*I'm for gun control. Why are people dying by semi automatic weapons? Why would any hunter, homeowner, shop owner need one of these?? I'm not saying take away hunting rifles, or handguns. Just stop the wal-mart customers from having ridiculous military grade weapons.

*I think birth control should be handed out in public schools. Lets not be naive people!!!!

* I think $200,000 a year is NOT middle class. 

*I'm for the war. That's right I said it.

*I'm very annoyed with the health care system. Drs wouldn't have to charge outrageous amounts to health ins companies if they actually got paid! Or not sued over everything. So maybe I'm against lawyers? ahah

well that's all for now. 

thanks for listening. 

Feel free to comment with your beliefs. I won't judge. Just don't context it with "i disagree with your crappy opinion!" 

Reply To Sender.

Ok. Really. I get called a few times a day, even though I'm on the do not call list, by someone wanting to sell me something. Some of the calls are even for me to listen to an "important message" if I press #3 or hold on the line...or my favorite "call me at 555-5555 i have something to talk to you about." Really?? Maybe you just call me directly??

Well I have now made at least 3 inquiries for products or services . I have not heard a word or email or anything from these people! NOTHING! Things I'm willing to buy, things I've contacted them for, they didn't even have to solicit my business. What kind of business ethic is that? Did they embezzle enough money from their company that they really don't care or want any more commission? Was my potential order to much to handle? Are they all on sabbatical, all their computers and phone lines broken at the same time? Am I black listed? 

Ok, sarcasm aside. What bad business. The least they could have done is shuffle me off to someone else! 

village of insomniacs

I would never sit here and say either of my children are good sleepers. 

My Daughter slept though the night in her bassinette but once she was put into the crib, FOR-GET-IT! She ended up in bed with us. She's sleep for about 2hrs then wake up and I'd bring her in bed. Which really, I was fine with. We all got to sleep. She's stay out till I got up, which was sometimes later than I'd like to admit :)

We put up a "big girl bed" and she'd sleep in there more of the night but to the same result. 

Once my Son came along she wouldn't get out of our bed. If he was in there...so was she. I vowed to put him in his crib. All the time. Well he sleeps like a champ for naps. Night is another story. He sleeps till about 3 or 4 AM then I take him in bed. Only thing is once he's awake...HE's AWAKE! Chatting, slapping, trying to escape. 

This in turns wakes up the other one who also wants to join us. Now my poor husband ends up bringing her back to bed and staying there with her in her twin bed. 

I've tried to let him scream at night and he doesn't give up. He just screams. Then none of us sleep. We've also tried putting her back in bed alone and she too screams, of course neither of them do this when the other one is awake. So we all know that end  result! 

So here I sit, at unlawful hours in the AM. I don't think I've had a full, good night sleep in 5 years. Wow. I'm tired.

politics please go away!

I'm so happy it's November for one reason and one reason only...Tuesday is Election Day. Though I have my opinions I just can't wait for it to be over! I'm sick of the town hall meetings and debates and jokes and especially the horrible ads. All the news this AM has only been about what they're doing on this "last day." I just can't stand it. It seems extremely left and right sided this year. And the annoying back and forth on the vice president candidates. Well I can't say both of them. Palin. They're so worried about about McCain dropping dead in office and her being the next in line. No mention about Biden? He would be next in line too.  There are no worries about a black man being in office and the threats to his life? It's sad to say but there are still pathetic low lives out there that don't think he deserves it not for his lack experience or issues they might not agree with but because of his race. So that would leave Biden. I JUST HATE IT ALL! BE DONE!!

Who ever is our president I will honor as an American. If taxes raise, we'll have to move somewhere we can afford. If we have to switch Drs so we can keep health insurance we will. If it gets intolerable, we'll move to Canada! EH?

the life of a secret blogger...

OK. So once again here I am. 

Something nice about no one knowing who you are or even where you may be is powerful. You can express whatever you want without any personal feelings getting hurt or having to "think first." Now granted the one person I have as a follower knows my superhero identity! And if anyone else happens to fall upon this blog they probably don't even care who I may be anyway. If they agree or find my antics amusing good for them and me! 

I do know there is one person that pops in an reads, mostly to figure out who I am. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I have to also say I'm surprised she hasn't figured it out yet.

It is a great outlet though. And until recently I wasn't able to do this without everybody gone from the house or just getting up in the middle of the night to be alone. As a Mom you never get to finish a conversation with a friend. Well or anyone! It's always half a sentence and "hey stop that" or "where are you going?" We as Moms understand when it happens, and just move on to other half conversations and hope to piece it all together later, via blog or email or miracle! So it's nice to just express your feelings, stories, etc with out putting you child's life at steak when they're about to jump off the back of the couch and you'd rather finish telling how your son ate a crayon! Even if someone reading doesn't know who you are!

When?

Wow. After this posted I just realized it's November!!!!!! Wow.

Halloween

Wow. A crazy year indeed. I don't know why. I think it was the companies falt!!!! ahahah. Blame others...blame others....

No really. I have to say that the kids were very good. My daughter patiently waited until it was time to go out and my son gave no argument  about getting dressed up either. We headed out, took pictures and started trick or treating. 

UNTIL: We met up with the group that formed. It was madness. This could almost qualify as passive parent, not on my part, but on the part of another. A group of about 4 kids lead in running house to house and 2 trailed behind, mostly because of the Mother that just kept talking to everyone!!!!!!! Then the little ones in the wagon, for now! So the one kid of the Chatty Cathy Mom starts SCREAMING!!! "I WANT TO RING THE BELL" But he's like 2 houses behind now! The group of 4 are moving on. She just says "ok, you'll get to ring the bell" No, No he won't!! He doesn't want to walk to the house on his own and ring the bell, he wants to be with the group and ring it with all of them! So instead of skipping the houses that the group have already hit up, she drags them to the doors. He's still screaming, now THROWING his bucket of candy. She picks it up, walks on with him. REALLY? Personally I would have dragged him home. But they who would she talk to?!

Sorry. I'll stop. Halloween was very cute. My two little dressing up kids were cute and well behaved and yes....filled up to the brim with sugar!!!